Ideas for Slowing Down with Toddlers
Yes, you read the title right, I just used ‘slow’ and ‘toddler’ in the same sentence. Am I crazy? A little, but let me explain.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this new world we’re all living in. One in which I saw summer pass in the blink of an eye, but did I really do anything? My answer…not really. And now we’re headed into fall, a fall without back to school (here in LA anyways) and a fall without a clear transition (I can’t be the only one who feels like time is passing fast and slow at the same time). But, we will all be slowing down for one reason or another: quarantine fatigue, weather changes, air quality concerns, the list goes on.
So, I’ve complied a few ideas for “productive” ways to slow down with your toddler as the seasons change. I have “productive” in quotes because I’m not suggesting you, as they say “do the most”, but I am suggesting that slowing down can bring with it it’s own rewards for your toddlers growth and development (and honestly, your own too, probably).
Let your child take an active role in their daily routine. Caregivers, I know you can do it as Kanye would say better/faster/stronger but that’s not the point. If we can all agree we’re a little stuck right now, maybe you can let your child try to: tie their shoes, dress themselves, pick their clothes, brush their teeth, etc. Perhaps they won’t get it right the first time, but again, that’s not the point. The point is to give them lots of opportunities to try.
Let your child help with chores. Similar to the above, caregivers, I know you can do it better, more completely, more quickly but, what if you didn’t? Your child would probably feel a sense of pride and accomplishment that they helped. And if you want little helpers who become big helpers, this is the way. You could also do a chore alongside your child to show them and model, that’s a great option too!
Go for a walk. This one sounds deceptively simple, but I promise, you can make this activity last 2 minutes or an hour. Help your child notice the things around them by commenting on your community “Oh look! There’s a lemon tree, do you see the lemons?”. Play “I spy” by describing something to an older child “I spy something pink and purple by the fence”. Work on making choices by letting your child lead the way “do you want to go left or right? (point)”. Work on expanding your child’s phrases, if they say “lemon” you can say “I see a yellow lemon up in the tree”. Work on problem solving “We’re at a stop sign what should we do?”. Getting your child’s body moving will help them regulate and this is a great time to work on language.
Bring novelty into your day. Maybe one day you’ll all wear red and make that the theme of your day. Maybe one day you’ll read a book and act it out throughout the day. It doesn’t need to be a big planned activity, but doing something silly and fun might lighten the mood, give you new ideas to explore and talk about, or just change the subject for a day.
Rotate your toys. You know those toys that your child was once interested in but now they rarely touch them? All kids do this, and once you identify the less interesting toys, it’s time to put them away for a break. Less is more with toys and often children can become overwhelmed with too many. So hide some of those less interesting toys away for later. In a few months switch them out. This can help the same toys feel new and fresh again, and give your child an opportunity to play with them in new ways as their interests and abilities change.
Let your child have some time to explore safely, independently. If this is appealing to you, I’d take care to set up a space that is safe for the age of your child, that might include: child locks, gates, cushions, etc. Give them small amounts of time to explore the space on their own, maybe with special toys/books or toys that you’ve hidden away for a ‘break’. Then talk to your child afterwards about their play. This can be a great break for your too, caregivers, because we could all use a break right now.
Encourage sharing or trading more consistently. I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about how children are handling limited time with peers. And my answer is always, if you can’t see friends safely, then there’s not another choice. But, you can set up opportunities to help your child understand pro-social behaviors like: trading, sharing, and checking in on others. Use a “sharing plate” for snack where everyone gets to pick some. When you’re using toys, ask your child to “trade”. It’s not the same as a peer, but if that’s not an option for your family, then this is a good alternative.
Be repetitive. You can do the same activity multiple times. You can do the same activity for weeks on end. You can slightly tweak an activity and continue to do it for a very long time. Repetition is great for kids, and as long as you’re not completely bored, it’s often helpful for learning new tasks and brings a sense of familiarity to a sometimes stressful time.
These are just some ideas that might help with slowing down, and doing less as the seasons change, as some of us hit 6 months in quarantine. You don’t always have to have a special activity planned, a theme of the day, or something “special” to do. Lots of learning in childhood comes from the every day activities we do with those closest to us. Remember to talk about not just what you’re doing but why. Ask open ended questions and wait for a response. Slowing down can mean leaving room for your child to talk too and really listening to what they have to say.
Good luck to all as we head into fall and if you have questions, comments, or want to know more contact me via the link on the contact me page.
In case you want to learn more about where your child should be functioning and how to make activities “age appropriate” you can check out the book Ages and Stages: A Parent’s Guide to Normal Child Development by Dr. Charles E Schaefer and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo.