Somethings Not Quite Right— Gut Feelings
I just knew something wasn’t right.
I’ve had many of my clients say this to me at some point in our first few sessions. Usually, they express a “gut feeling”, an “intuition” about their child’s development. I always want to probe deeper. How did you know? What made you think that? What did you see? What raised the alarms?
See, I believe in these feelings. Every caregiver handles them differently. I’ve noticed 3 responses related to these gut feelings…
Some act. They call their pediatrician, make an appointment, express their concerns. They ask their partner, friends or trusted family members for advice.
Some can’t. They see something that raises alarms, but they don’t have access to a regular pediatrician or to a support system. And maybe, even if they did, they wouldn’t be screened. Maybe they don’t know who to call or how to get help.
Some don’t. Maybe something concerns them, but there’s a negative association with therapy, with “problems”. Or they can’t bring themselves to verbalize their worries out loud. It’s hard to talk about problems, problems your baby or young child is having. That’s scary stuff. So some keep their feelings to themselves, hoping things will get better.
There’s no value judgement on my end about how you handle these feelings. We’re all different and need to take our own time to process, make a plan, and act.
I am here to say, that you don't need to wait. That your feelings are valid. That you can ask for help.
Here’s some possible action plans.
You can start with your pediatrician. Tell them your concerns, all of them. Ask them for a developmental screening to see if your baby is on track. Ask about what the screener is looking at/for and make sure it matches your concerns. When it’s completed, ask for the results, next steps, and for any referrals you may need.
If you don’t have access to healthcare or you’re blown off or told to “wait and see” and you still have concerns, call your local Regional Center yourself. You can find the Regional Center you live in by googling “your zip code Regional Center”. Call them and ask for the “Early Steps Intake and Referral line”. You do not need a referral to access these services. Really. And furthermore, the Regional Center is for all Angelenos. They cannot discriminate based on your: income, legal status, health insurance, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, etc. They are here for every Angeleno, and you can access them directly.
If you’re worried but not ready to seek help, I’d encourage you to talk to someone you trust. Someone who won’t judge you. Who you’ll feel comfortable talking everything through with. Maybe that’s a friend, family member, doctor, or counselor/therapist. You can also take time to process while you act. It takes time from when you call the intake line until you get evaluated and then more time from evaluation to beginning services. You can ask questions to the Regional Center directly, a Service Coordinator, Evaluator, or Therapist anywhere along the way.
So to wrap it up, gut feelings and caregiver intuition are real. A lot of caregivers have them. If you relate to this post, you don’t need to keep them to yourself. You can ask a provider, call Early Steps and The Regional Center directly, or talk to a friend or family member. You can also contact me via the contact page and I would be happy to point you in the right direction.
My goal is to get more people access to services they may need so that no one falls into the can’t category. I want everyone to be able to act in some way because starting early makes all the difference.