Activity Spotlight: Getting Dressed

Now that we’ve picked up the clothes let’s talk about getting dressed.

This is an activity that is often such a power struggle with toddlers. I often hear caregivers say this is a least favorite part of their day, so if dressing your child fills you with a sense of dread, you’re in good company.

And listen, some days it will be the worst part of your day, and that’s okay. Some days you’ll need to dress your toddler quickly because you’re running late. This is okay—and normal!

Other days, you’ll have more time, and these are the times I’d encourage you to think about all the language and cognitive skills you can teach in this routine.

Let me break it down.

What: Getting dressed—putting on clothes for the morning, PJ’s for nap/bed time, taking off clothes for bed/bath

Where: Wherever you would normally do this routine...in the bathroom, bedroom, hallway, etc. (again, I’m not here to judge and place doesn’t matter).

When: Waking up, going down for nap, going to bed, taking a bath, after messy play, after play outside. There’s lots more opportunities to work on dressing than just in the morning before daycare.

Who: Caregiver and child, though you could also involve siblings if they share a room or are doing a joint bath routine.

Why: Dressing is a great time to work on: receptive language, expressive language, social language, but also to work towards independent dressing/undressing. Let me show you how to work on individual skills.

Words/Language to Use:

Nouns: pants, shirt, socks, shoes, sweatshirt, diaper, underwear, Mom, Dad, child, arm, leg, feet, hands, chest

Business words: on, off, up, down

Pronouns: I, me, my, you, your, yours

Adjectives: red, yellow, blue, green, purple

Preference: like, don’t like

Sentence Starters: I see, get me your, I like, give me

How: Again, be sure to think about your child’s developmental level and teach to it or slightly above. For example, if your child is using single words, I wouldn’t expect them to say “put it here” so no need to teach that yet. But if your child is starting to use color words, it’s great to model and encourage them to use those words here. If we teach skills that are too hard, our kids will quit.

Honestly, I’d err on the side of making the activity too easy, particularly when you’re just teaching the routine. We want to make it fun, and attainable and if it’s too hard you’re going to loose them faster than yelling “Daniel Tiger is on TV!”.

Remember, best to pick just 1 of these to focus on for the dressing routine. Repetition is your friend and it’s okay to focus on the same skill across several dressing routines.

• Making a Choice of 2: Allowing your child a choice of what to wear builds independence and also gets them familiar with making choices. I like to start with a choice of 2 to make the situation less overwhelming. Hold up 2 items of clothing and have your child pick. They can point, use words, a sign, eye gaze, or a sentence.

• Modeling Big Body Movements: You can model putting on clothes for your child and see if they can attempt. They may put two legs in one hole, but that’s okay! Help them through it, but let them try first. Especially if your child isn’t using words yet, modeling big body movements is a step in the right direction towards ultimately modeling and using verbal speech.

• Receptive Labeling: You can ask your child about different items of clothing or go on a scavenger hunt. For example, I often say “hmm where is your shirt?” paired with a searching gesture. We look together and then I wait for the child to say “there it is!” or something like that. I try to stay away from being a “question master” and using “what is that?” questions.

• Following 1-Step Directions: Some possibilities may be: “put on your shirt”, “pants on”, “get me your pink shirt”, “bring me your socks”, etc. Again, be sure to tailor the language to your child’s level for a just right challenge.

• Following 2-Step Directions: Similar to the above but with two parts: “put on your shirt, then put on your pants”, “get your socks, then put them on”, “get your socks, then give me your shoes”. Make sure your child has 1-step directions mastered first.

• Problem Solving: Best for older toddlers or pre-schoolers but you can make this activity harder! Don’t get any clothes out for your child but just tell them “get dressed!” If they don’t know what to do, think aloud and help them problem solve. I might say “Hmmm what will you wear on your legs?” and when they say pants I’d say “right! I wonder where your pants are?”. So you’re giving less instruction, but still helping.

• Categories: Similar to the picking up clothing routine, you can talk about what belongs in the “clothes” category. Something like “pants, socks, shirts, underwear are all clothes!”

• Protesting: Really, we do need to teach this sometimes. If your child doesn’t want to wear what you’ve picked if you’ve picked it, show them how to protest appropriately. “You can tell daddy ‘No pink shirt’”. Then help them make another decision. Staying naked isn’t an option.

• Expressive Labeling: Again, try and stay away from “what is it?”. But you can use fill-in-the-blanks here like “it’s a pink….” and have your child fill in.

• Expanding Phrases: If your child is starting to use some 1-2 word phrases you can expand for them. If they say “shirt” you might say “it’s a pink shirt”.

• Pointing: If your child is not yet pointing, I’d recommend you model this while dressing. If giving a direction, be sure to use a point as a gesture cue. If you want them to look at something, model “look a blue shirt!”. You can also encourage your child to point when making a choice.

And my last tip, it’s okay if your child puts on their clothes wrong, backwards, inside out. That’s par for the course. We want children, yes even toddlers, to start dressing independently. Zippers and buttons are hard, but important to learn and have experience with. There’s some things I’ll want to gently fix (like shoes on the wrong feet) but there’s some things I won’t bother fighting over (a shirt inside out or mismatched socks). Pick your battles.

If you feel your child is struggling with getting dressed from a fine motor or physical perspective, you might want to consult an Occupational Therapist (OT) as they are the experts in this area.

There’s really something for everyone here! I hope you can put a few of these ideas to use during dressing at times that work for you.